Funerals

Funerals are for suckers. No relief is gained from them. No closure, no sweet goodbye for those who loved you most.

But in time it will become the remembrance of all you were to others. And how over a thousand people came to say goodbye.    

(2/9/2015)

For Khiem

In the mornings I will wake, and the realization of your loss will wash over me anew. 

 For a moment I will allow myself to sit with it and drink it down like deep red wine. 

I will swallow it and feel the burn and be glad for it. Because it means that I'm still here and there is much living to do.

 We know this, because you showed us.

 I'm going to claim it as my own and wallow in my drunken sadness.

 But over time, I will swish the grief in my mouth for a moment and spit it out again.

 I will go about my day, and sometimes pause to acknowledge that bitter sorrowful taste. 

 I’ll allow it to wash over me, whenever I need to. I am glad for this grief, because it means something. It means friendship and laughter and love. 

Someday,  a long long time from now; I will wake and have no thirst, no taste, for grief. My head will be clear and my heart will carry all the sweet memories of you. 

 And we will all make it through.

........
What do you say about the loss of someone who trailed laughter in his wake.  Who could listen to you rant and then have you laughing til you almost peed.  Who poured out wisdom without self righteousness.  Who made sure his girls knew he adored them every single day. Who raised 3 confident and kind daughters. Who adored his wife and was in awe of her beauty and spirit.  Who was more family than friend.  Who treated my children like they were his own.  Who didn't just have hobbies, he had passions...surfing, golf, wood chopping, archery, dogs...  Who was the ONLY one who could tickle my son unmercilessly.  Who taught my daughter to surf and not be afraid in the big water.  Who could disappear with my husband for a 12 hour "golf round" and still be forgiven. Who was his most generous friend.  Who schemed with me on weird food recipes. Who would mourn the loss of each and every little kitten who passed through his life.  Who shared his durian shake with me (Thanks a lot!!). Who was my comrade in field trip adventures, absinthe instigator and King of my BBQ. Who was always generous with his time and heart.  Who made everyone feel the way I do.   What do you say? What do you do?

All that I can think to do....   We promise to keep the wood pile from dwindling so your girls will be safe and warm. We promise to not coddle Ethan too much and keep taking Peyton to the beach.  I promise to try not to dry out the chops, let Mike wear dorky clothes, or take life too seriously. I promise to give T a belly-rub every time I see him. We will make sure the cars are cared for. We will take Tatum ice skating, help Sadie learn to drive, and make sure Savannah's boyfriends are worthy.

I would eat a 1000 durian to have you back, my friend, and hardly know what we'll do without you. I will never go on a field trip without thinking of the time we lost a child at the zoo.  I will never go to the beach without hoping to catch a glimpse of you on a wave.  When females are bringing drama I will think of you dancing around chanting "kd rock butt".  The night my kids come home drunk for the first time, I will yell, "You got no skillz!"  I will toast to you with moonshine.  I will take comfort in seeing you in Savannah's spirit, Sadie's humor and Tatum's eyes.  I will hug your wife every day and be the best friend I can to her.  We will be there.

I can't wait to see you again...I'll bring the sweetbreads.  You keep the bbq lit and save some absinthe for me.

That Damn Thyroid

Round about last November I hit a weight I wasn't comfortable with and while I've come and gone, I'm mostly where I was.  I pursued my belief that I was having a thyroid issue and while my thyroid levels came back in the normal range, I kept telling my Naturpath that something was definitely off.  Last April I was in my final 2 mos of training for my second Tough Mudder so I got down to business and went into super strict diet mode (as opposed to my usual pretty strict diet mode).  Plus I was exercising  4 - 6 times a week...not over doing it, but preparing for the race.  I struggled off 15 lbs.  But I will tell you that I have NEVER worked so hard to lose 15 lbs.  After the TM I came away with a festering rash (staph from the lovely mud) which then turned into a raging case of cellulitus over 50% of my body.  THAT was a fun summer vacation.  Don't really recommend cellulitus to others.  But in any case, I kind of forgot about my other problems for awhile.

As August rolled around and I promptly packed back on the 15 pounds without even batting an eyelash, and I resumed my concern.  (And may I say it's not just about the weight, though I admit with my active lifestyle, it is a big concern to me.  You try carrying around a 25 lb kettle bell every day, all day and see if it concerns you. )  In any case, I asked my Doc about the whole thing again and we ran another round of lab tests, this time checking the thyroid antibodies.  WHAMO!  Ideal levels should be 0, healthy is considered 10 or lower. My count was over 1000.  So do you think I have a thyroid issue?  For sure.  So go on a low dose of levothyroxine for 6 mos.  Thyroid responds well.  But I must admit that while on this medication I continue to feel low energy and depressed.  Occasionally I try to get into my super strict diet zone and try to lose a few lbs.  But I've been unsuccessful.  I still remain exhausted and blue.   But the antibody count is down to 6 and my levels are still normal.  I think she will take me of the meds soon, which is great.  But I don't feel any better.

So yay for me, now we turn to the adrenals.  Supplements, rest and relaxation are prescribed -- which is laughable considering my current event load.  It's turning out to be a long road to recovery...

Cherry Vanilla Breakfast Pie

With blogger's new format I suddenly can see all these entries I started and never finished.  Ahhh...the forgotten cherry pie!  Who wouldn't want to eat pie for breakfast?  

Yields 2 pies

- Your favorite pie crust
- 4 eggs
- 1 quart of cherries, pitted and stemmed (fresh are best, but frozen will do)
- 1 T stevia
- 1 T vanilla
- 1/4 T sea salt
- 1/2 cup your favorite unflavored protein powder (optional)
- 3 T gelatin (I use gelatin made from grass fed beef)

Preheat oven to 450
Place bottom crust in pie pan, poke holes with toothpick and cook for 15 minutes, just until firm.
Meanwhile mix cherries, 3 eggs (thoroughly whisked), stevia, vanilla, sea salt, protein powder and gelatin in  a large bowl, combining thoroughly.
Reduce heat to 375
Divide cherry mixture between two pies
Cover with top crust and wash with remaining egg
Cook for 30 minutes - you may want to cover crust edges for the last 10 minutes to avoid over-browning
Let cool / refrigerate overnight
Enjoy!

The Ailing Lion

I wrote this blog after the killing of Osama Bin Laden, but never posted it.  I came across it last night when I was cleaning out files and felt it was never more timely with the upcoming election.  I don't post this to preach to others, but a reminder to myself.  I certainly don't do all I can, but I always try to take steps in the right direction.

I take no joy in the killing of anyone.  No matter if they are a master mind of evil or an innocent victim.  I pray for both, that their next life will be a better one.  I pray for those that protect us and hope that their aim is sure and their conscious is clear.  I can’t help but wonder why it is that ONE person symbolizes so much finality to a horrendous deed that was carried out by many and supported by so many more.  It is a culture and a mind I will never understand and when his followers see our citizens jumping for glee and waving our stars and stripes I wonder what they will plan for us next. 

I trust that our armed forces  will continue to do their job, because they come from a long line of patriot’s that fought for our freedom.  It is in their blood. And I have to believe this, or I would live in fear every day.

What I don’t trust is the disconnection of civil society from our heritage.  When republicans and democrats can’t agree on the small things in life, where is the spirit that founded our country?  There was much bickering and bashing about in 1776 as well, but they got the job done because they had a common goal.  What is our common goal today?  

How have we banded together and strengthened our nation in honor of all that perished in 9/11 and the ensuing battles? My sad opinion is that I don’t believe we all have.  We are NOT better off than we were 10 years ago.  We are worse.  True the CIA, FBI, SEAL and other acronyms have foiled many plans…but don’t we all have an obligation to keep our nation strong? 

What have we done as citizens to improve our health care?  Our schools?  Our economy?

Have we changed our diet and increased our exercise so that we are healthier? Have we refused excessive care and used our FSA and HSA options to cut down on costs?  Have we sent our politicians a clear message that we won’t accept their bullshit?

Have we volunteered our time to the community to improve our children’s education?  Attended local meetings to let our voice and opinion be heard?  Called our congressmen and senators to encourage them to make OUR choices?  Been sucked in by the latest tag line or done due diligence?  Heard BOTH sides of the story so we can make informed decisions and really LISTENED?                                                                                                                                                                     

Have you looked to see where things were made before you bought them?  Have you shopped locally and supported small businesses?  Helped a friend in need?  Taken help if you needed it?

I fear mightily for our country.  What does it say to our enemies when they see the bickering, the discord and that idiocy?  We are a wounded lion, whose injuries fester and can be smelled around the world. 

 We like to blame everything on one person…whether it be Obama, Osama or Oprah. It’s so easy to point fingers, but I believe we are ALL accountable. 

My Tough Mudder Adventure - Vail Lake - So Cal - 2012

The day before the Tough Mudder,  I woke up in near panic.  What in the world was I thinking?  Before my negativity gained total control I took myself to a yoga class.  During deep relaxation I had this conversation.

“You are 40 and you will never be less than that again.  Thanks to your thyroid, you are overweight - and may never be thin again.  1 year ago you were sleeping in a recliner with a broken shoulder and didn’t think you’d ever lift a kettle bell again..but you can.  4 months  ago you tore a muscle in the Gladiator and didn’t think you’d be running by now…but you are.  2 mos ago you broke your finger and didn’t think you would be able to grasp a rope by now…but you can.  Any one of these things might stop a person from doing the Tough Mudder.  But none of these things have stopped you from training. None of these things will stop you tomorrow. Tomorrow you will prove that you can do it.  You will do it for the love of feeling alive.   You will have a team that will be with you the whole way.  It is not a race, it is a challenge and you are ready for the challenge.”

My Training

• Weight/Circuit training 2 – 3 times a week.  I’ve been doing this for 4+ years, but was definitely not at a peak between my shoulder and my leg injuries.  I just kept it consistent and tried to build without adding injury.  
• Long Haul Hikes/Walks Once a Week.  I had planned to do 10 miles before the Mudder, but had a calf cramping issue the day of and only made it 3 miles.  The farthest distance I did was 7 miles…but it was a climb of over 1000 feet.
• Run/Walk  Intervals – 2 x a week.  This was the hardest part.  My legs are so torn up, from years of street running that flat land running is nothing but painful….plus I was recovering from a pretty nasty ankle/shin/calf tear thing. I worked up to a slow but steady 2 miles…not exactly what I hoped for. 
• I also did yoga once a week and have a weekly tennis date.  When my legs flared,  I ran in a swimming pool, swam or rode a bike.  I stretch twice a day, every day, always. 

My Diet

My diet consists of organic produce, pastured meats, raw dairy, fermented foods, lots of water.     I shoot for 20% fat, 50% carbs, 30% protein.  Most of my carbs are in the form of vegetables and fruits.  If not, then whole grains.  I eat very little gluten.  No sodas, very little sugar.  I am not perfect.  I will have too much booze every once in a while and I have a weakness for tortilla chips, fresh bread and pasta.

Due to my inflammatory issues – I eat of lot of foods / supplements to offset this.  Cod Liver Oil, Chia, Flax, Green Tea, Turmeric, Ginger, Garlic, Vitamin C, Boswelia, Magnesium, Calcium etc.  I had a lot of success with this.  By race day, my shins were doing great.

I balance my calories with my activity.   (You can see why it’s frustrating to not lose weight, right?)
I am 5.7 and my body fat was 24% (about 6% higher than I prefer.) My weight when I started training was 172, my weight on race day was 165. I am comfortable at 145 – 150.  Carrying an extra 15 – 20 lbs around the course weighed heavily on my mind.  Yes, I know.  A pun.

My Clothing

My teammate bought us Mudder Orange Nike short sleeve compression shirts.  I wore Nike compression knee length pants and then for vanity and fat camouflage purposes I wore a runners skirt on top as well as a running pack over my belly.  These things only got in the way and I don’t think I was fooling anyone, so I won’t bother with those in the future.  I wore Thorlo running socks with a thin cushion.  I wanted something that wouldn’t slip, but wouldn’t get too soggy with all the mud I’d be slopping through.  Because I am a pronator, I couldn’t do the Trex shoes like a lot of mudders wear, so I stuck to my Asics and hoped for the best.  They were fine. Alot of people wear weight lifter's gloves, I went for the very tacky carpenter's gloves with the rubber blue grips.  Ugly, but I really liked having something cover my whole hand.

My Getting Ready Routine

I always allow at least an 1 ½ before I leave.  So I can relax, be in the right frame of mind, and not to be gross – but you want to make sure your toilet duties are taken care of.   I drank a Synergy Cherry Kombucha with Chia , ate a banana and drank two cups of coffee.  I took a 30 minute Epsom salt soak while I visualized myself being successful that day.  I reminded myself that the first 3 miles would suck as I tried to acclimate.  The middle part would be fun and the end part would be tiring and I would often feel defeated.  If I expected it, then I could overcome it.

I dressed carefully, made sure everything fit right – nothing rubbing or irritating. I covered my skin with coconut oil (my sunscreen of choice). I put a banana, an acai energy shot, some coconut butter in my back pack and filled my water bottle with water and added potassium drops.  I also brought a towel and flip flops.

Arriving

On the prep grounds, I sipped water , an FRS drink and took 3 advil (the only time I ever take NSAIDs).  I forgot my Acai energy shot in the car, so I took a pak of GU 20 minutes before race time.  This may have been the worst mistake I made.  The first hour of the race, my heart was beating crazy fast and I was super nauseous. 

Beginning

To get into the starting pen we had to climb a little 8 foot wall with a toe hold.  A year ago, I would have crawled over without thinking about it, but man…butt cramped, my ham string….  “Oh shit!” I thought.   Then we were asked to take a knee for our pep talk.  My friend and I looked at each other a little cross-eyed and I was relieved to know that I was not the only one in discomfort over this small task.  During our pep talk, the MC said “The kind of people who do Tough Mudders are people that when they are told they can’t do something say, ‘Bull Shit’.”  So true.  I hate being told I can’t do something.    I tried not to groan when I stood up.  

National Anthem, Tough Mudder Pledge and we were off.  I reminded myself of the last part of the pledge…I will not whine.  THIS is a reason to do the Tough Mudder.  We all can use a good test and not allow ourselves to whine.  We live in such a  “whoa is me” society.  It is really freeing to remove yourself from that sort of environment.

The Course

About 50 yards in we started the Death March(#1).  The super athletes run the hill, but the normal folk walk it.  We made it up…first obstacle down. 

My team mates hurled me over the two 12 foot Berlin Walls (#2 ) and I dropped unceremoniously on the other side…a little surprised that the landing didn’t hurt more and glad that I took the advil.

Onward – more hills – up and down, sucking in dust as we went, crazy beating heart..damn GU.

We Kissed The Mud (#3) by crawling under barbed wire for about 15 feet.  I emerged, thoroughly muddy with my number ripped partially off.  I looked at my team mates, they weren’t even dirty.  I was exhausted – sucking wind.  The Gladiator had a similar obstacle, but not after climbing a ½ mile hill. I was beginning to understand the devil of the Tough Mudder.  As we climbed the next hill I thought to myself, “WHAT IN FUCK WAS I THINKING?!” (Sorry, there are no sensors in my brain.)

Then I reminded myself that I knew the first 3 miles would be the worst.  “I can do it.” I said to myself.   “You can do it.” My team mates called to me.  They were reading my mind.  “Hoo Rah”  I returned hoarsely fighting the urge to vomit.   But I forced myself to notice that the brisk 36 degrees had given way to a sunny mid 60’s.  It really was a beautiful day.  High above the hills we could see the lake sparkling below.  Lovely.

A crawl through tunnels covered in hay (#4)…filled with water, muck and gravel.  Fun stuff.  Log Jammin (#5) was a series of stacked logs you crawled over and under….8 rows I think.  My legs and arms were shaking and in the fashion of a beached whale, I rolled over the top of each log, just hoping I didn’t misstep and fall to the ground.  I knew that to finish, I must be careful.  This also meant slow…but this is a challenge, not a race.  I hope my teammates didn’t mind me taking this so literally.  Earlier, I was wishing I had on a tank top, but I am now thankful for my compression short shirt sleeves. ..my revealed skin is scraped and stinging.

The next obstacle we came upon was another low belly crawl  – this time with live wires dangling underneath.  (#6)   My team mates went first – cursing and convulsing their way through.  I preferred to stay behind and observe, as became habit for all of the race.  As I lay down,  I saw that if I was very careful I could navigate between the wires.  And I did. 

Mile 3 –“This is where the Warrior Dash ends” read the sign “You’ve only just begun.”  It was like receiving permission to begin having fun.

The 1st rest stop consisted of water and the most terrible energy giving gummy bears I’ve ever eaten.  We agreed these bears were a challenge in and of themselves.  Our mantra became –“Bring on the bananas.”

Going down the steep narrow backed-up trails was a good time to befriend fellow Mudders.  There was a couple on their honeymoon, a  group of marines carrying a blow up dinosaur, a grey haired gentleman who was always smiling, several super heroes, and one unfortunate soul in camo-undies that just weren’t doing a great job of keeping him covered.

At the bottom of the hill we came upon the Funky Monkey (#7) .  I made one half-hearted attempt to use the bars, knew it wasn’t going to happen, and jumped in the water.  I forgot to expect it to be cold and came up making that fish face everyone loves to laugh at.  Next time I’ll conquer that beast.

Just a short jaunt away from there, we plunged into the arctic enema (#8).  A big container of ice water dyed green, with a board mounted midway through, so you have to go under.  Cold yes, but I managed nicely until….I tried to heave myself out of the container and could not budge.  I finally realized  my vanity pack was caught under the mounting board.  With the layer of ice on top and already numb legs, I couldn’t kick my legs out behind me.  I was chest deep in ice cold water.  I tried to yell for help, but could barely get a breath out.  Luckily, one of my teammates noticed me and ran back to haul me out.  That was a pitiful moment and though I did not realize it then, I dislocated 2 ribs and tore my obliques in that little fiasco.  All was made better when my teammate said, “OK.  I am now a girl.  I got nothin’.”  Ha ha …I guess when it comes to that obstacle, it is better to be a girl going in, since we’re all coming out as women anyway.  As we moved away, I noticed the marines on the side trying to resuscitate their dinosaur which had deflated…the ice had proved too much for that warrior.

Around mile 5, I was feeling pretty good and we came upon Walk the Plank (#9)…a 2 story platform above a big hole in the earth with more dyed green water.  Given that others had gone before us, I could only assume it was deep enough to jump in.  As I was climbing up, the marine on the platform said, I don’t even want you to think about it, just go.”  So as I reached the top he yelled. “GO! GO! GO!”  And I did.  It’s amazing how time freezes when you are in midair.  I knew there were two people insanely close to me also jumping.  I knew I didn’t know the depth so I put my legs in front of me. Then it was Wiley Coyote free fall and I got that sick roller coaster feel before I hit the water.  I sank down, got kicked in the shoulder by someone, briefly hit bottom, bobbled to the surface, did the fish face gasp,  flipped on my back and kicked to the beach.  FUN!  I would have done that one again.   

#10 was a series of 6 or 8 ditches about 3-4 feet wide that were meant to be jumped over in quick leaping succession.  Like many other girls, I ran up and lost my nerve.  Big mistake.  I should have just gone for it.  I had no idea if I could jump that far, but I could.  Next time, I won’t hesitate.

More run/walking – another gummy bear aid station.  Just say NO to gummy bears.  Then we crawled through the Boa Constrictor ( #11) which are sewer pipes filled with muck and water.  Onward to the other side of the lake…we climbed #12 – Cliff Hanger, which really wasn’t.  I think perhaps earlier in the day it was a muddy slippery mess, but by the time we reached it …it was just a bit of fun climbing up a mud hill and then having a rope web to aid the remaining climb.

Twinkle Toes (#13) presented a new challenge to me.  It is a balance beam across water, also electrified, if one grabs the beams, you will be shocked, so just don’t grab the beams.  Apparently a lot of people were hurt on this one b/c they expected deep water.   My legs were so wobbly at this point that I fell in after a few steps and trudged my way out.  One of our teammates made it, the other was nearly there and then down he went, much to his disgust.  

The second set of Berlin Walls (#14) were shorter – maybe 10 feet tall…thus no one remains behind to help the weaklings get over.  I stepped on Mark’s hands and he shoved me over best he could.  I made it.  But what I found most ironic about this was on the other side, even though I was closer to the ground, I fell flat on my butt.  As I attempted the second wall, I said, “I’m just going to go around.”  “No you aren’t.”  my friend said.  And that was that.  Over I went, again I fell on my butt.   And on we went.

More hills – up and down, up and down.  I had met one of my team mates, only that morning, so it was nice to pass the time getting to know each other a little better.  Both of these men were very accommodating, not pushing me, only encouraging.  Shouting our team name “Dufresne” from the hill tops to help me along.  (Dufresne refers to the main character of Shawshenk Redemption who crawled through 500 yards of shit for freedom.  I love it.)

Around mile 7, finally an AID station with Bananas – how we LOVE bananas more than energy bears.

Devil’s Beard (#15) – walking under a net….only served as a reminder that any type of extra activity just made me breathe harder.  Spider Web (#16) consisted of those rope webs they love so much, hanging vertically in the air.  Strong people sit below and stretch them taunt to make them easier to crawl over, and they were.  The only tricky part is getting over the top, b/c it tends to lean at the top and you have to shift your body weight if you aren’t able to just swing yourself over. Hold Your Wood (#17) meant picking up a log of varying sizes and carrying it about a quarter mile up a hill and back down again.  I admit, I wimped out and felt no need to carry big wood.  Of course, all the guys choose to over compensate.  ;)  

Round about mile 9 we came upon one of the last big hills.  I had to stop and rest several times and even became a bit discouraged.  Then I remembered what I was doing this for…not just for me, but also raising money for the Wounded Warrior fund.  “Many a man and woman has done harder things than this for me.” I thought  “I can do this.”  So I did.  At the top we let out a Primal Scream.  (Actually, that Primal Scream might have been at the top of the hill around mile 7, but there were SO many I just can’t really recall.)

It was also around this time that my clothes dried and realized I had a lot of sand in my pants…which prompted some singing in our group.  There were also big strong men, dropping like flies with leg cramps.  Men that I am sure had helped me along the way.  We passed out gu and coconut butter to those in need and helped in any way we could, if only an encouraging word.  I received so much encouragement along the way – not only from my teammates, but from fellow mudders as well.  This is the spirit of the Tough Mudder and what sets it apart from all other events.

#18 was our Mystery Obstacle.  The photo caused quite a stir on facebook, but in actuality it was one of the easiest things I did all day.  We just placed our hands on one side, feet on the other and crab walked across.  Really TMHQ?  I thought you’d have more to offer. 

We stomped through the marsh awhile, reminding me of summers at friend’s farms in upstate New York.  Then we crossed a finger of the lake using ropes which apparently was not counted as an obstacle, but seemed to be the undoing of a few.  One marine and his wife were with me for a good portion of the trip.  He went in first and she followed. About 4 feet in, the bottom  dropped and we swam.  She suddenly turned around with eyes as big as saucers and went back to shore.  “You lost your lady!”  I shouted.  The thing about the Mudder, is everyone has different fears.  What is easy for one person, is hard for another.  Her husband didn’t berate her…he simply turned and joined her back on shore….encouraging her and showing her how she could hold the rope to get safely across.  

The marines ran by me with their pitifully flat dinosaur in a stretcher…leave no man behind, after all.

We had one more water cross in knee deep water that brought us back to the spectator viewing area.  As I came out of the water, I saw my husband and kids standing on shore…a beautiful sight.  Less than a mile to go and we were nearly home.  We were treated to a slip n slide (#19).  True Mudder’s go head first, I opted to be an un true mudder and slid down on my bottom.  I was rewarded with a fire hose to the face all the way down.  Next time I’ll be a True Mudder.

The Under water tunnels (#20) were an obstacle I was looking forward to.  I enjoy being in the water and thought this was something I could do without issue.  I was SO SO wrong.  I think above all other obstacles, this one scared me the most and I had the hardest time talking myself into doing it.  All I had to do was swim under a floating barrel.  Swim a few yards and repeat 2 more times.  But for whatever reason, I could not make myself swim under those barrels without several seconds of courage building.  Strange.  But I still did it, eventually.

Everest (#21) is a quarter pipe.  Muddied and 18 feet tall.  The idea is to run up it, grab the edge and pull yourself up.  My first team mate did so as if he had wings.  It was amazing.  My second team mate did it with near equal ease.  Then it was my turn.  I watched another girl, much younger and thinner than I, run, fail, and slide down…not one, but four times.  I watched a guy smack his face on the ramp and bleed.  “Dear God, please don’t let that be me.”  Enough was enough….I ran as fast as I could (not very) and I jumped as high as I could (not very) but it was high enough.  Craig grabbed my arm and said, “I will not let you fall.”  And he didn't, but I was stuck. I had no strength to swing my legs up.  It seemed like an eternity that I dangled from that wall.  But eventually reinforcements were called in and if I had been less exhausted I may have been humiliated by that experience, but I was just so glad to be on top of that friggin quarter pipe and so thankful that Craig didn't let go.

The last traditional obstacle is Shock Therapy (#22).  There is much hype around this and many people will tell you it is unsafe.  Some people really get rocked by it.  In the days leading up to the Mudder, I was most afraid of this moment.  We had agreed to run through with locked arms.  But again – I needed a moment to survey and chickened out.  They went ahead of me – running and convulsing…but through.  So I went…zapped yes, but I did not fall.  I made it through. 

Team Dufresne linked arms and crossed the finish line.  4 hours.  11 (or was it 12?  No one was sure) miles.  21 official Obstacles….many more unofficial ones.  

The Aftermath

The morning after the Mudder I could not move without really severe pain.  This from the girl who knows ALL about pain.  “I’m glad I did it, but I don’t know if I want to do it again.” I told my husband.   The following day, I started thinking about how I would revamp my training plan so that I can be a Tougher Mudder in July.

Every part of my body (except my shins – ironically) was sore.  I was covered in bruises – particularly nasty ones on my inner thighs and arms.  My ribs were bruised, dislocated and the attached muscles torn and swollen .  My left arm was a little out of place.  It took a visit to a chiro, a lot of anti-inflammatories  and about 4 weeks to get back to normal.

I started my thyroid therapy in hopes of being 20 lbs thinner in July, but it I’m not…I’m not.  I’ll still be a Tough Mudder.

Rest and Recovery Detox Salad

Last Saturday I participated in a Tough Mudder and have spent the last 3 days trying to recover from the muscle strain, bruises and overall battery.   Meanwhile my little girl came down with a fever the night before the event.  Miss. P. rarely gets sick and when she does it's usually a 1 or 2 day affair, but without my arsenal of healthful remedies, the poor thing didn't stand a chance.

While we've been consuming vast quantities of broth based soups and healthful smoothies, I really haven't had the ability to do any major food prep until today.  But finally this morning  awakened with renewed vigor...my little girl simply cannot miss another day of school.  So I put together this detox salad for us.  I wondered if she would eat the brussel sprouts, but having been roasted they lack bitterness and she gobbled it up. Here's keeping our fingers crossed that she is ready to join society tomorrow.  I can only stay in the house for so many days.

Rest and Recovery Salad

- 4 cups brussel, cleaned, cut in half .
- 8 stalks of Napa Cabbage (other cabbage works too).  I reserve the leaf for Cabbage roles or salad.
- 2 apples
- 1/2 cup pecans
- Juice 1 lemon
- balsalmic dressing
- salt/pepper
- 1 T olive oil

Toss brussel sprouts with salt and olive oil.  Roast at 450 for 15 minutes.  Remove from oven and allow to cool.

Chop stalks of cabbage and apple into 1/4" pieces.  Toss with cooled brussel sprouts.  Pour lemon juice over the top and toss.  Add pecans, season and add dressing.

If this salad is too tart for you, you can always reduce the lemon juice or add use an emulsion of balsamic and olive oil to dress the salad.