170 lbs! One Hundred and SEVENTY freakin' pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?!!!! Last winter I broke my shoulder and shuddered as the pounds piled on during my depressive inactive state. But as spring sprung and my shoulder healed I was able to return to my healthy lifestyle. Over the summer, I admit I tried and failed at many flash quick fix diets that I KNOW I shouldn't try....so desperate was I. I'd lose a few and then gain them back. I was not getting in the cardio I needed in order to lose, I was only doing my maintenance workouts and then wondering WHY I wasn't losing weight. duh.
As the end of summer came around I jumped on a boot camp wagon and was working out avidly and eating well. I gained 4 lbs. "It's muscle." my people said to me. Bullshit. Muscle it is NOT...unless it is muscle making my muffin top grow daily.
Something is wrong. How can I exercise 5 times a week, eat a balanced and healthy diet and still be gaining weight? It just doesn't add up. (Well, actually it does...all on my stomach and butt) What has changed?
To pile on more drama, my old injuries are all flaring up...shin splints, popping ribs etc. However, I don't suffer from the exhaustion that I did before. I'm flummaxed. I visited a Naturpath and have been doing some research on my own as well.
These are the possibilities I'm considering and waiting for all the labs to come back...but the waiting is killing me!
1. Adrenal Fatigue revisited? - don't think so, I'm not exhausted
2. Hypothyroid? Maybe -- I have had hair loss, low temp...but not ALL of the symptoms. And so far my lab work turns out normal. But I'm hearing that lab work isn't always a true indicator of these things. May require further investigation.
3. I'm 40 now and life will become pure hell in an effort to remain active. I refuse to accept that answer, though on certain days I feel doomed. Especially after "friends" make ignorant and hurtful comments who can't possibly understand what I'm going through. I'm generally a pretty confident person. But there are definitely days when I want to smack down the skinny people.
4. My bio-identical hormone patch. Could it be the culprit? Come to think of it -- I started this patch a year ago and that's when I seemed to start having trouble keeping the pounds off. My Naturpath tends to agree and is having me do this 30 day liver detox to clean out my system and get a true reading of my hormone levels. I agree that detoxing once a year is a good thing, and taking a break from analyzing everything I put in my mouth is fun too. The no wheat, no caffeine, no sugar, no dairy (except raw or cultured) I can get on board with and isn't MUCH different from my usual diet. The no meat (even fish) part kills me. I did get a special dispensation to eat my pastured beef so I don't become anemic (which my first round of labs said I already was, again.) My protein intake is down by about 10- 15% and I feel it puts the muscle I've worked so hard for, at risk. I mean, the more muscle you have the more calories you can burn, right? I dunno -- my studies with the GCNM tell me, that we don't need that much protein. I'm SO confused! This detox definitely is messing with my mind.
5. I'm still in a quandry over the nonfat/lofat/lotsafat research I've been doing. Studies say that if you eat healthy fats as 30% of your diet that it won't make you fat, but in fact will help you lose weight. Given that I'm 25 lbs heavier since I started eating more fat, I'm not sold on this. However, I found it REALLY interesting that my cholesterol has dropped 20 points in the past 2 years. Very interesting indeed.
In the meantime I signed myself up to participate in this crazy race called the Tough Mudder with a bunch of men who are certain to be dragging me behind by the end of the race. What was I thinking? Well...at the time I thought I was ramping up again and was ready to be in tip top shape by next February. Fast forward 2 months and I'm still struggling. wuh-oh Better find my mojo and quick. It's somewhere buried in these 25 lbs, I'm sure of it.
So now that I've drawn out the clouds in the detail, it's time to do some rainbow hunting:
1. Even though I'm puffy, I'm still not as puffy as I was 5 years ago. I am in far better health that I was then.
2. This journey is leading me to a better understanding of proper nutrition and will probably make me a more compassionate and knowledgeable Nutritional Consultant.
3. I am exercising ALOT. And that is good. I especially enjoy the tennis I play with my son and the swimming I'm doing with my daughter. I've also got a nice network of friends to exercise with, which is a very important motivating factor.
4. My husband never makes me feel fat and he always loves as much of me or as little of me as there is.
Keep your head up Julie!
ReplyDelete-Katie